Meds
by kismet-wayfinder
Summary: Alex/Clear oneshot. "These will help you to ward off your feelings of helplessness…" the therapist had said to her... Well, she was partially correct, as it so turned out - they would help Clear ward off something, even if that something was Death Itself.


**I own not the franchise, nor the characters thereof. Yeees, this was inspired by the Placebo song.  
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><p>Closing the door of the pantry over the sink in the bathroom of the Browning house, Clear stood still, silently staring back at her own reflection in the mirror. Idly shaking the prescription pill bottle in her hand, she watched the reflection of her bottom lip tremble. Over the past few months, she and her boyfriend Alex had successfully evaded Death, outsmarting Him again and again and again. Still though, Clear knew that Death was certainly not completely avoidable for any man (or woman) and so she realized that it was merely a matter of time before either she or Alex, or perhaps the both of them, rolled a bad pair of dice, and lost the game they'd been playing with the Reaper for so long now.<p>

Her therapist had tried to convince her, several times in fact, that while, yes, death _was_ an inevitability for all people, it was not something she needed to dwell upon so often. She'd faced lots of tragedy in her life so far, yes, but it didn't mean that she just needed to give up a chance at a half-decent life for herself.

Still staring at her mirror image, Clear watched as a tear trickled downward from the corner of her eye and rolled down her face. Both her lips were now quivering, and she couldn't seem to hold the pill bottle steady in her grasp for anything in the world. She knew what had to be done, as scary as it was, and as difficult as it was for her to face, she still knew that it had to be done nonetheless.

Closing her eyes, she thought back to the incident that had occurred the week beforehand. She'd tripped off the sidewalk while walking on her way to her therapist appointment and had landed in the street. Alex, who'd been walking with her, leapt into the street, throwing his body over hers just in the nick of time.

Alex was struck by the vehicle, only to eventually be taken by paramedics to the local hospital, where he - being temporarily comatose - was put on life support. The next day, a still-comatose Alex's stats began to drop to dangerously low levels. Doing the one thing she could think to do (which was to kill herself in order for Death to skip over Alex), Clear grabbed the emergency defibrilater that was affixed to the wall and gave herself a good shock, bringing her heart to a standstill. Had she not done so, it might have truly been the end for Alex.

Fortunately, a nurse on the scene was able to shock Clear's heart back to normal, sparing her life, as well as Alex's, who stats gradually improved, until he finally came out of his comatose state of being, and was able to breathe and function all on his own with no mechanical support needed.

And so, as it was now, as Clear stood before the bathroom mirror, Death had skipped Alex, and was obviously going to go for Clear next, denoting its pattern. Though he'd improved enough to be allowed to go home in the weeks that had since passed by, Alex was still weak from the collision and its following consequences. He might not have the strength to survive another self-sacrifice to Death, just so It could skip over Clear. And Clear, well, she couldn't bear the thought of losing Alex, especially not on account of her.

Nothing else much mattered to her at all, besides Alex.

"I'm doing this for you, baby," she said aloud, in an unstable voice, before moving a shaky hand to untwist the top of the pill bottle.

"_These will help you to ward off your feelings of helplessness…"_ the therapist had said to her.

Well, she _was_ partially correct, as it so turned out - they _would_ help Clear ward off something, even if that something was Death Itself.

Placing the opened pill bottle down on the edge of the sink, she filled the tumbler glass on the nearby counter to the brink with water, before turning off the faucet and picking up the pill bottle once again.

Tipping the bottle back, Clear closed her eyes as she emptied the forty-some-odd tablets into her mouth, before quickly reaching for the tumbler and then chasing the pills down with the water. Grimacing at the bitter, chalky taste as she washed the pills down, Clear filled the tumbler a second time, before downing the second cup of water, as well.

Once she'd satisfactorily gotten all of the pills down, Clear carefully put the lid back onto the pill bottle, before dropping it into the trash can by the toilet, and then leaving the bathroom, to head back for the couch in the Browning living room, where she'd beem sleeping for the past however long, since her house had been destroyed by the electrical fire.

Clear knew that when Alex he awoke in the morning, he would no doubt be dumbfounded and grief-stricken to find her dead, but she couldn't think about that and the pain that came with it at the moment. All she could lay sight on in her mind's eye was the fact that she'd finally saved Alex, by way of altering Death's pattern. She'd tricked Him for good, and she knew that Alex would now be safe for as long as humanly possible.

As she felt the effects of the pills begin to drowse her into an uneasy sleep, she smiled a small smile. Alex would be safe, and nothing else mattered.


End file.
